Return of Blaugust: Revengence

For the first time in the history of this blog, a prediction that I made actually came to fruition. 

Three and a half months ago, in my last blog post, I wondered how my new vaccinated status would affect my gaming. Would my newfound ability to leave the house again drive me away from digital worlds into the real one?

The answer was very much yes. I put probably 20 more hours into Persona 5. My D&D group finished up it's campaign in a couple of sessions. My Among Us group fell apart as we all returned to normal life.

But Blaugust actually shows up at an opportune time. I'm actually sitting at my PC again due to a combination of extreme summer heat and Canadian wildfires turning our air into poison. Out of the frying pan and into the fire if you will. 

But the 'digital break' has been good for me and I'm ready to reengage with the Blaugust community. I'm excited to be back again and judging from the explosion of my RSS feeds so are all of you. 

A minor programming change.

I've dropped the "Internet" from "Everwake's Internet Adventures". Quarantine really blurred the lines between my online and offline personas. Like all of us, my social life was essentially moved online for the past year and a half. 

But reconciling the "online" and "offline" sides of my personalities was genuinely tough for me.

I think it was Among Us that highlighted it for me. I played with a rotating group of 8-14 real life friends in a game that's about lying to and murdering people. Modulating my aggressive competitiveness with not wanting everyone I know to hate me was difficult. I was not always successful at it.

But ultimately, it was fine. I play to win, but I do play fair. I'm not  and there weren't really any hurt feelings out of it. I have the same relationship I had with everyone before the pandemic.

I've always felt I had to hide that part of my personality away; that it wasn't fit for public consumption. This was true even back in school. I played in competitive baseball leagues. My high school team was a non-competitive rural school playing other small, rural schools. My friend's really never saw the competitive part of this personality. There was never a "need" for this, it just happened that way. It became a habit.

When I stopped playing serious competitive sports, that split transferred over to my new outlet for such feelings: online gaming. Additionally, this was the early to mid-2000s, the beginning of social media outlets that explicitly linked your real name to an online presence. I began working in the political realm around this time and it became obviously clear that I need a separate third identify as well, distinct from my "real life" and my "gaming life".

As Bilbo said to Gandalf: "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread."

Of course I've not experience anything that anybody else hasn't. We all don different masks for different contexts in our lives. But during the pandemic I really began thinking about these different but disparate parts of my personality. What bits are the "real" me? And if I merge the three together, what is the ultimate result?

I don't think I want to juggle three different me's anymore. And so for the past couple of months I've been approaching my life in a bit of a different way. For this blog that means erasing the boundary between the digital and the organic. More hiking photos, more stories of my personal life, and likely a different change in tone. But, it's still a gaming blog at heart, ostensibly an MMO one at that.

Air Quality Index - Red is bad.
 

Although if the world keeps catching on fire we might not see much difference in the content of this blog at all.

Comments

  1. While I do leave my main blog open for some IRL posting, I still feel a need to separate my real life identity with my online/gaming identity. Maybe it's just a thing of habit. When I do post about my real life, it's usually just stuff about hobbies that still fit in the "geeky" category, though.

    Best of luck to you with Blaugust!! :)

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  2. I like hiking and walking for pleasure so will welcome any posts of this kind.

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  3. I started off using very much a separate blogging persona but over the years a lot of that has just eroded. I still, obviously, choose my registers but not really much more than I do face to face. And yes, I'd welcome posts on walking and hiking, too!

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  4. Heck, when I started soo very long ago, I tried to have separate WoW and STO blogs. It lasted about a week before I consolidated. These days, I'm as likely to throw a vacation or dog post up as anything gaming related.

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